Dating / Relationships

Girl Game: 25 Ways to Keep Your Virginity

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Party Dresses For Women Elegant Floor Length Beaded Modest Stretch Velvet (Photo credit: xubangwen)

1. Don’t drink alcohol

2. Wear granny panties

3. Don’t use birth control

4. Set solid physical boundaries (no going up my shirt or down my pants….the swimsuit lines). If he crosses them, walk at least 50 ft away or leave completely

5.  Have a female accountability partner who you tell everything and vice versa

6.  Don’t shave your legs (just for a few days before the date edited 9-8-2013)

7.  Don’t show cleavage

8.  Don’t wear short skirts

9.  Don’t wear crop tops

10.  Have several roommates who aren’t sleeping with boys

11.  Refuse to mention the word sex to him

12. Don’t go into his bedroom or let him in yours

13.  Have an escape plan in case he is too drunk to drive you home

14.  For a LTR, go on kissing fasts

15.  Wait till marriage, no matter how awesome he is.  If he’s that great you want to keep him, right?

16.  Make him meet your parents

17.  If he gets angry over no sex, he is trying to manipulate you, Leave him for good.

18.  Don’t let him manipulate you into feeling guilty; you’re not a tease, you’re not boring, you haven’t wasted his time and money, he doesn’t deserve sex for taking you on a date.  Sex is the reward for marriage, not one date.

19.  Be modest in behavior

20.  Talk regularly with your father about the men you date, fathers are unimaginably wise in this area.  A mom will work well too :)

21.  No kissing while swimming

22. Wear bike shorts under skirts

23. Use the buddy system at parties and have another girl watching out for you, become insane if she disappears and don’t drink

24. Don’t date guys you know are players, you’re not going to tame him and you really shouldn’t want to.

25. Don’t drink alcohol

32 thoughts on “Girl Game: 25 Ways to Keep Your Virginity

  1. I forgot to mention how some clothing choices make men think you’ll be easy more than others. Black and red are sexier than white or pink. Zippers and spikes are sexier than gingham and lace. Pointy shoes sexier than rounded shoes. Men assume a lot about women based on their appearance.

  2. Sis, this is a great post! Thank you for this :)

    LOL @ the granny panties and not shaving legs one, great!

    Don’t drink alcohol – very very important one

  3. Good points Sis. I’ll address a few.

    1 & 25- I wouldn’t say to never drink, but I would advise against drinking in any situation where you aren’t with your family or by yourself at home (for your health). And certainly never, ever drink to excess.

    3) Yes. For a variety of reasons, not the least of which is your future fertility. If your doctor recommends it for other health related reasons, tell him/her no. If he or she pushes it, get a new doctor.

    4) This is critical. You need to have clear lines in the sand that are not crossed. Period. One of them is that an article of clothing is never removed during a “date” (how I hate the word).

    5) Yes. If at all possible, always practice the buddy system. At all times. The Hamster is your foe here. Even better is to have a man you can trust with this, in order to rely on his perspective.

    10) I think it advisable for a young, virtuous woman to never associate closely with women who aren’t virtuous. Keep them away, they are a bad influence.

    11) Disagree, I think it needs to be mentioned and discussed, but never in what might be called an “intimate setting.”

    12) Seriously.

    16) This is pretty important. It is a good measure of determining how serious he is. If he is eager to meet your parents, then that means he is probably trying to get your full measure and worth when it comes to commitment. That’s a good sign.

    18) If a man ever tries to use guilt into doing anything before marriage (and I mean anything), you should drop him like a bad habit.

    20) Getting your father involved is really important. If you have a good dad, there is no better source of help.

    21) I would go further as to suggest that you avoid swimming unless in a group, and always use very modest swim attire.

    23) As I said earlier, the buddy system is your friend.

    24) If you date a man you know is a player, you deserve whatever happens to you. Don’t expect a virtuous and God-fearing man to be eager to pay you any attention afterward. We don’t want sloppy seconds, and even if you do hold onto your virtue, we will question your wisdom and discernment.

    Ok, so I see I addressed more than a few…

    • yeah, sex should be discussed but maybe not on the first few dates.

      I wondered how outdated my advice was, it’s reassuring to have your agreement.

      • That a good question actually, when sex should be discussed. Personally, I think it should be brought up right away by a woman. She should make it clear to anyone she dates from the beginning that she is saving herself for marriage, no exceptions. If this drives anyone away, then all the better; they were never going to be good husband material anyways. However, that is only a brief, initial discussion. Otherwise, the subject should probably wait for a bit to see if there are any other red flags.

    • They’re not outdated. I find myself agreeing with all of them.

      I’ve never known a virgin if she drank to excess around others. The rest of them…. breaking one or two and you might be fine. Any excessive amount and I’d question it. I’d also question if she was chaste of heart, or merely of body.

      Not being a virgin myself, and having stripped away a great deal of my pride on that…. I’m far more concerned with the chaste of heart; realizing that one or two mistakes can find actual repentance in God after a great deal of time spent on the issue.

      It certainly isn’t a single prayer and “Hey look, I’m a born again virgin!”

      I’ll also say prayer and regular attendance to church, as well as socializing primarily in others chaste of heart, should get two mentions just like liquor does. Peer pressure is just as intoxicating as alcohol, if not more so.

  4. I had the ‘don’t drink alcohol because of stupid sexual choices’ talk with a young lady who ended up at my house because she was too drunk to drive home. I figured she was in my house she was going to listen to my advice. I saw it as empowering her with some wisdom more than lecturing. Because, I didn’t lecture. God saw fit for it to seamlessly blend with our conversation. She told my son later, ‘Man, your mom likes to have deep conversations…..’ I pray something sunk in for the sake of her future marriage.

  5.  Sex is the reward for marriage, not one date.

    THIS! I took my girls shopping at target and let them dig through the dollar bins. Then we looked jewelry behind the locked glass. We discussed the difference and whether we are going to be dollar bin ( where anyone can touch and you get broken and left behind) or diamond (and some has to go through a lock to take a look, and can only take you upon payment. My babies got it and regularly tell me they are diamond s.

    • That’s a good way to teach it. Mine are still young enough to think babies come from weddings. We’ve talked about how it happens, but it hasn’t occurred to them there are any other possibilities.

  6. Might I suggest a slight change to the title of this post, however?

    From “25 ways to keep your virginity” to “25 ways to keep your virginity until your wedding night.”

  7. haha This was cute!!
    I don’t follow all of these, but I’ve managed to keep it ;) I think the most important thing is setting boundaries. I think setting a rule (especially if you are in college like me) that boys should not be in the room and if they are (door wide open so, everyone in the hall way can see and not late at night). Birth control is just bad for women’s health…period…
    Also, like donalgraeme mentioned, having your father involved or another guardian if the father is not available is good advice. My father wouldn’t let me do anything stupid. Actually, he wouldn’t even let me have a boyfriend! haha
    Oh, that reminds me! There does not have to be dating high school. You can’t get married before 18 anyways (16 with parent consent) so, there is no need for middle school and high school dating.
    Lastly, on the alcohol topic, while I am under 21, I think drinking alcohol is OK if it is in a controlled setting (i.e. like a fancy dinner) and your family approves. I’ve only had alcohol once or twice in a year and my parents don’t drink at all anymore…I think I might follow on their path.
    On the topic of kissing, I think it is cute to wait until marriage, but waiting until engagement is OK too! While some girls are virgins, you don’t want to be the ‘technical virgin’ (kissing and getting “friendly” with every guy around the block).

      • If the parents are involved and it is going to lead to marriage, then I don’t see anything wrong. It is just that most girls at 16 aren’t ready for marriage and they are just dating with no purpose…this is how a girl can be lead to lose her virginity!
        I am no person to talk though. Speaking from experience, even though I did date once in high school, nothing productive came out of it. Especially if a girl has rules like no kissing, like I did, the guy can be frustrated and the girl will be pressured. Thankfully, I was never pressured. I don’t see anything wrong with kissing before marriage, but me personally, I would like to save my first kiss at least until I am engaged, preferably after marriage.
        I’m a little too radical with purity though, so you can choose to ignore my comment if you want. haha

  8. Great list! I don’t drink alcohol and it’s really important. Being drunk makes you do everything, either good or bad! I have two girls in my mind who should read it! I will be giving them links :)

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  10. Good advice from an uncle: if you drink and drive, don’t smoke. Looking for that dropped cigarette on the floor of the car could be fatal. lol

    I have to disagree about the never talking about sex thing. Let’s suppose that you’re on the fourth date with a guy. You’ve rebuffed his pushes to have sex immediately and told him that you’re waiting for marriage. Maybe he thinks that you’re an ice queen. Not mentioning anything sexual might hurt your chances. Hence, I think that an intelligent woman would hint at some sexual fantasies which she would explore with her future hubby and mention that she would never withhold sex from her hubby if physically able to have sex. Those things should both inhibit the guy immediately yet encourage him regarding the future if he’s interested in marriage.

    I also am a believer in immediate, discrete civil weddings once engagement happens (only nuclear family knows) and a longer-range church wedding if desired.

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