Another guest post from the wonderful and inspiring Hearthie!
For all those women out there trying to figure out how to submit to their husbands who might be a bit freaked out, relax.
First: No one expects you to roll over on your back and expose your throat. Submission isn’t abject and total surrender. Your dignity and self-worth don’t get tossed out the window when you submit. In fact, you’ll find yourself becoming more dignified and more graceful the more you practice this art.
Second: No one says you can’t (or shouldn’t) have hard-limits. Your husband loses his mind and hands you a belt, tells you to go whip your children bloody? Time to pack, not time to obey.
Third: Treat your husband with honor, respect and courtesy. You don’t have to be formal. Just be gracious. Get him a cup of coffee. Serve him before you serve yourself. Be polite. Say “Please” and “Thank you”. Assume good intentions. This will make your household a more pleasant place to be if nothing else.
Fourth: You and your husband are on Team [LastName]. You are not competing with your husband. Since you are not competing with him, there is no need to argue for the sake of holding your ground. There is no need to prove yourself “smarter, stronger, faster”. You will each use the strengths that you have in order to move your team further along. You will strive to improve yourself, not to be better than your teammate, but to be a better team.
Five: Do things that your husband likes. You do things that your children like, for the sake of their pleasure. You provide things for your guests for the same reason. Extend that thinking to your husband. This doesn’t mean you suddenly start serving the meal you hate – surely you have a variety of foods that you both like? Stop serving the ones he hates, that’s a good first step. He says in passing, “that hairstyle looks great on you” – how much effort is it to wear your hair that way more often? Learn his preferences (if you don’t already know them) and provide hospitality – to him.
None of this advice makes you a doormat. A queen could follow these guidelines. You are increasing in graciousness, dignity and courtesy. You are extending respect. This sort of behavior used to be common sense.
Submission starts with three little words. Try being nice.