Us Girls

The Dreaded Wall and Aging Gracefully

There is a truth that all women know but many are in denial about; that truth is The Wall. We’re all headed there; some of us have already arrived, have set up camp in its shadow and are sharing war stories around the fire. Most of us, if not all, dread it.

What is The Wall?

There are several posts around the internet explaining The Wall. It can be summed up pretty simply: men age like wine, women age like milk. We don’t stay pretty and fertile for very long, ladies. Men have a slow crawl up and down the hill, women rush it like Olympic sprinters. Nature is so sexist. Somebody pass the Ben & Jerry’s and tissue, please.

“You make the most of it, Nina!”

The best way to explain The Wall, in my opinion, is to offer an example. Recently I was re-watching Black Swan. A favorite of mine, I hadn’t seen it since swallowing The Red Pill and found it to be a very good example of The Wall and what it does to us. Without giving away too much Black Swan is about an up-and-coming ballerina, Nina (Natalie Portman), that finds herself in the role of a lifetime. Running just underneath this story is the character Beth (Winona Ryder). Beth was the up-and-coming ballerina, once upon a time, but is now too old to continue in ballet and is being forced into retirement. There are few places in the world that The Wall is so evident as within ballet. No amount of denial can save you from its effects in an environment that rests on peak physical condition. Ballerinas understand The Wall and they know they can’t avoid it. Nina feels for Beth, at one point early in the film expressing how sad she thought the whole thing was and later tearfully exclaiming to Beth that she understands now, she knows how it feels to be under threat of replacement. Throughout the film we see how poorly Beth handles her inevitable fate. This scene is one such example (edited for the clip making it PG vs R)

In this scene you can see Nina’s youth and life’s strain on Beth. It certainly doesn’t help that Beth is in denial, having a heck of a time letting go of the fragments of her youth. The actresses are only about 10 years apart, Natalie Portman was approaching The Wall herself during filming but didn’t run head first into it like many of us do (more on this later). Still; makeup, lighting, and wardrobe made the effects unmistakeable. You can also see how much Beth (the dying swan) resents Nina (the new swan queen) for taking up “her” role.

The Wall is about losing our standing. We’re only young, pretty, and fertile once. It’s gone before we even realized we had it most of the time.

Not All is Lost

Don’t go planning your life with 20 cats and knitting needles just yet, ladies, there is hope! Though we certainly cannot hold on to our youth, to our prime, we are not completely worthless.

Wife Goggles

This is an amazing thing that our husband’s have. Basically they remember us in our prime (if they were lucky enough to have us in our prime. Another reason marrying young is important for women). When they look at us in our 40s, as long as we haven’t completely let ourselves go and are not shrewing, they see us in our 20s. In my case my husband sees me as 17. “You’ll always be 17 to me.” he says often. Poor guys are delusional but that’s what love does. Our only hope, then, is to keep them loving and adoring us.

Aging Gracefully

There is a huge difference between letting yourself go and taking care of yourself, even (especially!) post-Wall. Let me put it this way- you can either be Sinead O’Connor or Famke Janssen.

Sinead O'Connor 2 years ago, age 44

Sinead O’Connor 2 years ago, age 44

Famke Janssen a few weeks ago, age 47

Famke Janssen a few weeks ago, age 47

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ask any man which one they’d rather make a life with.

There is a lot to aging gracefully but it is also pretty simple. The key is to start now. Right now. Especially if you are still young. Do not put this off! The seeds you plant now concerning your body, mind, and life will decide what sort of plant you are in the future. That future is much closer than you think so don’t for one second think that you can be lax now because you have so much time. You don’t. I can’t stress that bit enough. We don’t have time. Time is so sexist.

Now for some good news, though relatively small in comparison to the downer this post is: this is the beginning of a series. The next three posts will deal with aging gracefully physically, mentally, and socially. We’ll talk about good foods, exercise, keeping your mind fit, staying current, etc. And, hopefully, we’ll be a support system in starting today to age with dignity.

Stay tuned!

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76 thoughts on “The Dreaded Wall and Aging Gracefully

  1. I think that the best way to avoid making a mess on “the wall” is to stop chasing after youth. As we age, we gain other value. If we stay focused on tight rear ends to the exclusion of character and wisdom etc… we’ll slam on the wall and it will be ugly. If we transition ourselves to other things, well – age happens. But we can choose to be lovely in spirit regardless of how old we are.

    Nothing messier on the wall than a woman who never learned to be worth more than her looks.

    • Hate and bitterness makes us ugly. All of us, regardless of sex. We can’t discredit looks, though, of course. Men are visual. Our looks absolutely do matter. They are no more and no less important than good character in a relationship. It’s a package. The message today is that looks are trivial and we are “more” than them. That is a false message, unfortunately. We are our looks, other things as well but our looks, too.

      • Regarding looks and appearance and aging… this is an area where its the thought that counts. As a man, knowing that my woman is doing her best to take care of herself counts for a lot, irrespective of how successful she is. Why? Because it signals respect for me. And respect is what we men crave.

      • Very good point. I like that. The goal isn’t to stay youthful looking forever it’s to put forth the effort to stay healthy and appealing in large part for your husband.

    • And for a perfect example of this, look at Madonna’s arms. I would rather be in shape than try to be skinny like only young girls can be skinny. You can be thin when you age, but your body will never be the same shape as it was when you were twenty. Madonna’s arms are the result of 3-hour workouts every day, chasing youth.

  2. “There are few places in the world that The Wall is so evident as within ballet. No amount of denial can save you from its effects in an environment that rests on peak physical condition.”

    I know nothing about ballerinas, but recently watched this vid ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Luz5g-doa34 ), which made me think fame and ability would have overrode any extra wrinkles Beth might have had.Or perhaps Maya Plisetskaya is simply that awesome and an exception. She became prima ballerina at age 35 and retired from the Bolshoi at 65, which makes me wonder if ballerina peak is not the same as the general female SMV peak. Maybe it’s like powerlifting.

    “. Poor guys are delusional but that’s what love does.”
    Lol :)

    • Like always there are exceptions to the rule. In the movie Nina names a ballerina that danced into her 40s (or 50s? Can’t recall) in Beth’s defense.

      But of course it’s not about the wrinkles it’s about ability and as we age our abilities for most physical activities suffer. I was using it as an example of how we change not trying to suggest it’s exactly the same.

  3. to age with dignity.

    I think this is key. Yes, we must absolutely work to keep ourselves attractive. As Donalgraeme says, it shows respect. But we mustn’t forget the dignity part. Marry young, work to stay pretty and growing in dignity and grace is going to do tremendous things in keeping the wife goggles firmly in place. Staying pretty but being a shrew may keep the goggles on his face but they are far more likely to fall off at any time.

  4. Off topic, but I really loved that movie. I never thought of it as a wall-related movie (although the Beth episode seemed very much about age). I almost kind of related to the movie, because I used to be a perfectionist. The source of Nina’s troubles, I think, was the weight of expectations put on her. Except now she had to let go of perfection to achieve perfection, a goal that could break a lot of people. That’s a story of someone who never got in touch with their dark side. I always say, everyone should get in touch with it ;) Unless you want to unpleasantly surprise yourself.

  5. Yes, this is very important no matter how many of us women want to deny it. If I may add some things: start actively using anti-aging products when you turn 30 (earlier the better, don’t wait until it is too late), wear sunblock on your face (don’t have to wait until you are 30 till you do this, I do this now). Sun ages your skin. Lastly, keep the weight off (use small weights to tone so, you don’t have the old loose skin), and keep your hair long. :)

    • Bodyweight and heavier weights are what I use. I don’t use weight in the hundreds and have no desire to but 25lbs, 40lbs, and hopefully 75lbs in the next year.

      • I’m a long distance runner so, I focus on being toned and lean so, I use light weights. :)
        But if heavier weights is what works for you, then all the more power to you (literally)! Haha I have a friend who uses 60lbs and she is stick thin, so I guess it is relative to each individual. :)

    • The funny thing is that I have noticeably less wrinkles since I’ve started sunbathing. I’m only in the sun for 15 to 20 minutes per side once or twice a week, but the sun seems to rejuvenate my skin. My husband looks younger too. Maybe it’s the vitamin D. I’m pretty old, so there are some wrinkles!

  6. I think learning grace might be the very essence of femininity/womanhood, and certainly the path to learning, accepting, and growing in it. Many see grace as physical nowadays, but it is first and foremost mental, and out of the mental state flows a certain behaviour toward others and a certain treatment of self which we identify as graceful.

    Post-Wall, graceful aging means a woman will radiate with a warm, inviting, mature femininity. But grace is important in delaying the onset of the Wall too. For example, european women in their 30s who stay slim, dress elegantly, and move gracefully get easily as much, if not more, attention than girls in their early 20s.

    Anecdotally, when I was 17, two Russian men talking about me said (in rough translation) ‘What a beauty! But imagine when she gets to her 30s, then she’ll be really delectable.’

    Watching old Italian movies will show the same principle – of course men are attracted to nubile young girls, but mature femininity, if properly cultivated, is powerfully attractive. However, proper cultivation comes through learning grace, not slathering on some makeup, pulling on a miniskirt and killer heels, and showing the guys you can guzzle wine like the best of ‘em.

    So I think the 27-y-o Wall is an American thing, and is a function of graceless women who don’t know how to take care of themselves. Being of mediocre appearance, a little too plump, and graceless are forgivable when a girl’s young – in other words, men will still find those women attractive, but with age a woman will no longer be attractive merely because she’s a woman. She has to embody the feminine spirit, and as long as she does, the onset of the Wall will be gradual and late. And afterwards she will still be a woman others are deeply drawn to, albeit not sexually (except for her husband of course, to whom she will indeed still appear young).

  7. She is very bitter over losing her place. I hate thinking about the wall, when does it happen anyway? Aging is so gradual, I like thinking about it in seasons…I’m in my mommy season now with a 2yr old who follows me everywhere and a husband who can’t seem to get enough of my body. Now convincing him to take the 2 yr old off my hands for awhile, that takes a bit of doing. I’m not as pretty as I was 10 yrs ago, but he seems to know how to love me better now than he did then. We’ve both come a long way in learning how to do marriage since our twenties, I don’t want to go back. Sometimes I get scared he’ll decide to replace me but I try not to think about it.

    • What is the wall? I think we could get as many definitions going as there are of the word “alpha”. For myself, I’ll call The Wall the day (and I’ve heard my mom talk about this day with her friends) the men stop looking. It’s usually menopausal/post-menopausal if you’re taking decent care of yourself. It’s obvious, apparently – you go nearly invisible.

      Other walls are purely situational. Do you want 25yo men looking at you? Well. You’re young enough, maybe you do. Me? I’d get squicked out. Did you want that career as a prima ballerina? Oops. Professional lingerie model? Errrm….

      • For me the wall is when we start losing our fertility and start to visibly age. That’s about 30. Those two thing makes our SMV go down. It’s not the end of the road but it’s all downhill from there.

      • Definition of wall is different for everyone, but for me, the two presented are not entirely satisfactory.
        1)”Wall = when men stop lookin”g. Funny thing is, me (25) and my 50-something mom are looked at by the same low value men, and it’s been like that for a while. Heck, in my teens I possessed amazing invisibility skills (really). I’m not ugly or fat (yet).

        2)Wall = when we start to visibly age around 30. I dunno. Jennifer Beals is visibly not 20 anymore, but she is still thought of as a “wall survivor” by people at RooshV forum. I listen to men’s tastes. Reason for why she is not a wall victim yet, is (I assume) because she is still hot.

        Thus, for me, the wall is when someone who used to be sexually appealing, is no longer sexually appealing. Was hot, but is no longer hot. This definition is not without its problems also. Where does it leave women who were no more than 5 in their youth? Do they ever hit the wall, if they were always ugly/meh? Do they simply get slightly more ugly? Figuratively speaking, does a girl hit the wall if no one is around to hear it?

      • It is also flawed because there will always be a man or two (or three) *somewhere* that finds a woman attractive even if she weighs 400 lbs and is in her 60s.

      • ” Jennifer Beals is visibly not 20 anymore, but she is still thought of as a “wall survivor” by people at RooshV forum. I listen to men’s tastes. Reason for why she is not a wall victim yet, is (I assume) because she is still hot.”

        She’s got African in her. Well kept Africans don’t have a wall. They start to show signs of just middle age when they hit their 60s.

        They won the genetic lottery.

        All the other races have varying walls, with Anglos, Northern and Western European descent peoples having the earliest and hardest walls of all.

        For them, the wall is 30 and sometimes even younger because they have the lowest amounts of melanin and collagen in their skin. I know several Anglo-American women in their 20s with wrinkles! Their bodies are fit but DAAAAAYUM their faces.

        I’m South Asian and even though we have a lot more melanin and collagen, we still have other factors that cause us to hit our wall around 40. Our men hit their walls even earlier, like mid-30s.

        Maybe I’ll make a chart with the worlds major ethnic groups and at what ages they hit their walls.

      • I’m pretty sure men define the wall as when a woman is no longer sexually appealing (‘bang/no bang’), and nothing else. Why should we be defining it otherwise?

        As for women who were never over a 5, for those few men who would have considered sleeping with them there would be a wall (whenever they cross the line into sexually unappealing), but for most men it would be moot because they never would have slept with them anyway.

      • Which men? There’s the question. I’m sure I’m WELL past my expiration date with the aforementioned 25yo (thank you, Lord) but I see 50yo checking me out all the time.

      • For me it only matters if the men I am attracting are worth it. I need to do some work on myself right now and I know I could get a could of guys in my bed if I wanted. But they aren’t the type of men I would want in my bed. Like I said, even if you are in your 60s and 400 lbs someone out there is going to find you attractive. Personally, though, those types of men are not what I would want to be attracting.

      • “As for women who were never over a 5, for those few men who would have considered sleeping with them there would be a wall (whenever they cross the line into sexually unappealing), but for most men it would be moot because they never would have slept with them anyway.”

        I don’t know what country you are in, but here in the US, the vast, vast majority of people are hovering around 5, give or take a point up or down.

        And they manage to do just fine finding another 4 or 5 to pair with.

      • I think there are multiple walls for multiple reasons. The first wall is when you lose the bloom of youth & fertility in the late twenties to early thirties, the second wall is around menopause or after (I’m currently going through this) when your body really does go through some crazy changes.

        I think there is a third wall when you are no longer attractive in a sexual way when you are really old. Some women hit the second & third walls at the same time if they are not in shape & taking care of their figure.

        Right now, even at my advanced age, there are definitely a lot of guys that would have sex with me; I see them looking; I’m in shape & haven’t started graying yet, so they think I’m a lot younger than I am. I expect to hit the third wall maybe in my mid to late 60s. Maybe I can hold on to it longer than that, my mom looked pretty damn good through her mid 70s.

      • I was thinking about this some more. If you spend a lot of time obsessing about a wall, you’re more likely to splat on it. Whereas if you’re just thinking about life and taking care of business, you might say, “Oh. Wall? What wall? THAT wall? Oh ew, wouldn’t want to be on the other side of that wall if you paid me. No thanks.”

    • “It is also flawed because there will always be a man or two (or three) *somewhere* that finds a woman attractive even if she weighs 400 lbs and is in her 60s. ”

      I’m talking about in general. Obviously there will always be a man who will find a woman hot in her 70s (her loving husband), but no one disputes she hasn’t hit the wall ‘in general’.

  8. the worst part of the wall to me has been not that men stopped looking, but that i now REALIZE that i WAS attractive during the years men followed me down the street asking me to marry them lol. my whole youth was spent crying because i looked in the mirror and thought i was HIDEOUS, while men were dropping dead, now i look in the mirror and think im really pretty and no one but my husband gives a rat’s ass lol

  9. Pingback: Hitting The Wall – How Many Walls Are There? | TempestTcup

  10. If you are of Anglo or Northern European descent, there’s no avoiding the wall. We age fast and hard. Most “white” folk look 40 at 31 and 50 at 40. Hey I’m married to one of them so don’t take offense here. Its our thin skin, lack of melanin and collegen. Black folk on the other hand, provided they don’t get fat, really never seem to hit a wall – ever. OK maybe 70. Lucky ducks.

    The other ethnicities seem to fall in between these two extremes of early aging and never aging.

    But would you believe there are some cultures where aging is a sign of wisdom and respect is garnered as you age? Even more than that, at least one culture, the one I’m from, actually TRIES TO AGE faster than normal. Yep. I’m not going to get into the reasons why as they are culture-specific, but suffice it to say that it benefits Indian parents to appear old and needy before their time to their children.

    So although I appreciate the aesthetics of a smooth, wrinkle free dark face (black don’t crack), being Indian, I really do not understand the West’s obsession with youth.

    I also don’t understand having a regular sex life after 50 or trying to date in middle age like is done in the West.

      • I have a moderate libido, however I do enjoy lovemaking when my husband and I engage in it.

        But as we age the libido naturally wanes and in my culture we are taught to flow with nature, not fight it. The over 50 crowd in my family cultivate self-realization through meditation and other spiritual practices. My grandparents are practically yogi-saints, spending a lot of time in holy places in the Himalayas and they are the example of graceful and dignified old people that I have been given and aspire to.

        This is all part of our traditional culture.

      • I don’t buy for one second that enjoying sex over 50 is fighting nature. Studies have shown that women hit their sexual prime older, not younger, and men are still virile in middle age.

        I’m not sure what “self-realization through meditation and other spiritual practices” has to do with sex in middle age, though. I’m happy you’re happy in your traditions but they hardly seem relevant to this conversation.

      • Yep. I don’t for a moment believe that men quit wanting sex around 50. They are still fertile at that age, why would they stop, biologically speaking? There’s such a thing as “dirty old man” for a reason, lol

  11. Well if one has a sex drive and a spouse over 50 then sure. I’m thinking more in terms of artificially boosting it with Viagra and other synthetic means.

    Its also hard for me to understand people who feel “bad” when their libido starts to wane. Its a natural part of life and signifies that another stage in human development is now beginning for us. We will be liberated from thinking about sex and the way we look and can focus more on internal growth and other important age-appropriate things.

    The meditation and self-realization thing was brought up because the deeper one goes into her or his practice and the more one advances in that way, the less sex desire one feels.

    As one goes up, the other goes down, and vice versa.

    • Except these days it’s happening sooner due to poor diet and lack of physical activity which is why people are lamenting it- they aren’t in the *natural* phase they are living in damaged bodies.

      “As one goes up, the other goes down, and vice versa.”

      Not at all. I won’t argue that this is true for some but it certainly isn’t true for all and isn’t true for me. You seem to have a very negative view of sex, thinking it gets in the way of other more valuable things. I just don’t see it like that in the least. Sex is a very spiritual experience for me.

  12. “Except these days it’s happening sooner due to poor diet and lack of physical activity which is why people are lamenting it- they aren’t in the *natural* phase they are living in damaged bodies.”

    How soon is too soon? I’ve always had a moderate libido and saw that as a blessing. Same with my husband. But we both come from a traditional Eastern background with very yogic values.

    “As one goes up, the other goes down, and vice versa.”

    “Not at all. I won’t argue that this is true for some”

    Its true in the yogic tradition.

    “You seem to have a very negative view of sex”

    Sex is a part of life, nothing more or less. I find the West’s obsession with it be extremely imbalanced.

    “Sex is a very spiritual experience for me.”

    That’s fine. Spiritual is a vague word anyway.

    • It’s very simple. You choose self-sufficiency, we choose passion. You value not feeling anything very strongly, we value feeling things more strongly. You wouldn’t want our life, because you think our life is imbalanced and full of unnecessary running around, we wouldn’t want your life because it seems bland and boring. None are more morally right than the other. It’s just a matter of preference.

      • “None are more morally right than the other. It’s just a matter of preference.”

        I reject moral relativism.

        ” You value not feeling anything very strongly”

        What the heck?

        What would you know about my feelings?

      • “you wouldn’t want our life, because you think our life is imbalanced and full of unnecessary running around, we wouldn’t want your life because it seems bland and boring. ”

        Oh yes, I’m sure travelling and living in many different countries and exploring literally hundreds of cultures is “boring”.

        I’m sure being able to converse in more than a few languages is “boring”.

        It seems to me that your only idea of “not boring” is sex and shopping.

      • You are upset because you think she is making assumptions in another comment and then you *continue* to make assumptions about us.

        I’m happy that you are happy in your life but all the nice things you have like world travel mean nothing to some women without passion. You have shown that you are anti-passion. So yes, I view your type of lifestyle as boring and empty to me. Fulfilling to you, no doubt, but boring and empty to me. To each her own.

        Admin: your posts are coming off as very “concern troll” “holier than thou” “let me show you how wrong you are for choosing this lifestyle”. This is your first and only warning. We are here to share with people of a like-mind not to be subjected to condescending posts by people who think they are better than us.

      • “I’m happy that you are happy in your life but all the nice things you have like world travel mean nothing to some women without passion. You have shown that you are anti-passion.”

        I don’t understand what you mean by “anti-passion”. Could you explain? Also how are you interpreting what I say as that?

      • You said:
        “Sex is a part of life, nothing more or less.” and “We will be liberated from thinking about sex and the way we look and can focus more on internal growth and other important age-appropriate things.” to cite two.

        What I mean is you have no use for sexual or romantic passion in your life. You favor your idea of “spiritual enlightenment” over it and are not shy in expressing that your way is superior and more “natural”. You don’t “waste money” on “unnecessary” things like lingerie, don’t think sex is all that important, etc etc. This is all well and good for you but many of us are not interested in such muted passions. It is what it is.

      • “What I mean is you have no use for sexual or romantic passion in your life.”

        I am a young (under 40) married woman who referred to her husband in more than one comment so I don’t know where you get the idea I have no use for sexual or romantic passion. Sex IS a part of life and nothing to obsess over. Those who place an over-emphasis on sex end up dissatisfied and unhappy, what to speak unhealthy.

        “You favor your idea of “spiritual enlightenment” over it”

        Its not just *my* idea, its an entire tradition, but yes, spiritual enlightenment is more evolved than sex-obsession.

        “This is all well and good for you but many of us are not interested in such muted passions. It is what it is.”

        Well from my perspective an over-emphasis on sex and material objects will mute one’s passion and zest for living life and having exuberant experiences because both over-domesticate us and keep us weighed down with “stuff” so that we are unable to move through life lightly and pick up at a moment’s notice to experience something new.

      • You assume it’s an overemphasis based on your own ideas of what life “should” look like. That’s the truth of it. You keep referring to our want for sexual fulfillment as “obsession”. Condescending and telling of your own lack of passion. If it’s “just another thing to you” it’s not passionate, plain and simple. Which, again, is fine for you. Stop trying to save us, though.

      • “That’s the truth of it. You keep referring to our want for sexual fulfillment as “obsession”.”

        Actually my original comment about obsession was referring to old people, 50+, who instead of going with the flow and accepting their natural decline in libido and sexual function, instead try to artificially boost it with Viagra or other synthetic means.

      • “Well from my perspective an over-emphasis on sex…will mute one’s passion and zest for living life and having exuberant experiences because both over-domesticate us and keep us weighed down with “stuff” so that we are unable to move through life lightly and pick up at a moment’s notice to experience something new.”

        What is “an over-emphasis on sex?” How will it do any of the things that you say it will?

        “I’ve always had a moderate libido and saw that as a blessing. Same with my husband. But we both come from a traditional Eastern background with very yogic values.”

        So you’re both very feminine. Your diet is probably a testosterone killer.

        “We will be liberated from thinking about sex”

        You’re married to a mangina (a mentally-emotionally-physically feminized, testosterone-deficient man). Your husband doesn’t understand how to make himself attractive to you. No wonder your marriage lacks passion. Your husband is probably dissatisfied and you’ve convinced yourself that you don’t really need sex to compensate for the fact that you don’t feel attracted to your husband. I feel sorry for you both.

        Even from an eastern perspective, the Yang is as important as the Yin, but you’re denying the Yang (and the need for connecting the Yin and the Yang).

  13. @OmOMOm
    For a Christian, keeping one’s spouse sexually safisfied is a duty, and not doing that is a sin. You may be having the squick thought (Ewww, my parents STILL DO IT). Because they will not tell you.

    @All

    On the wall, it’s more like a rolling door. The Bang | No Bang filter has a younger limit on it as well, where it hits the incest taboo. Most of the time, it is roughly the same SMV.

    And this is why you see the wall. For the average US Euro female 30 == male 45 and female 35 == male 55. Note that the age of the men who will be interested in you goes up much faster than chronologically.

    But this does play into hypergamy — men are generally at peak power in their 50s and 60s. While me tend to want younger, cuter, within reason.

    In the meantime, girls who dress pretty, and stay at normal weight, can increase their SMV by 4 -7 points given the current standards. (Or don’t be SInead). Men… we have to earn it. In the gym, in the kitchen, and at work.

  14. I must admit that when I hear Dalrock and Deti and the other manospherian sages warn women about “the wall” I usually snicker.

    I picture former dweebs now all grown up to be portly, balding middle-aged middle managers condemning women who would not have given them the time of day at age 20, 30, or 40 for that matter.

    I’m smirking just thinking about some of their asinine comments. I hope that any 30-year-old woman who is still waiting to meet her future husband doesn’t take them to heart.

    I’m 44 and still quite attractive compared to other women my age and a lot of women 10 years younger. When I’m 60 I’ll probably still be attractive compared to most 60-year-old women. Genes don’t suddenly change with age. The chances that I’ll suddenly gain 50 pounds and lose my good facial bone structure are slim to none.

    Do I look older than I did at 22? Of course I do. Even if I injected poison in my face as many women my age do, I’d still look older than my 20-something self. That’s normal and nothing to be ashamed or alarmed about.

    Who cares? I’m not competing with women decades younger. If something, God forbid, happened to my husband I wouldn’t be looking to get remarried to a 30-year-old. Instead, if I decided to date again, I’d probably be attracted to and attract men in the 40-55-year-old range.

    • “I hope that any 30-year-old woman who is still waiting to meet her future husband doesn’t take them to heart.”

      I hope that they do if, especially if they want children.

    • Lisa, most women don’t have great beauty, just like most men aren’t natural alphas.

      Most women are attractive to men when they’re young *because they’re young*. Young, fresh, firm, glowing skin/body are in themselves attractive. Once a woman without natural beauty (ie/ great bones structure and features) loses that, her attractiveness is gone. So for most women, yes, if they want a high value husband they shouldn’t wait too long.

    • @Lisa in Vermont

      “I’d probably be attracted to and attract men in the 40-55-year-old range.”

      Lol, I’m older than your range and I could pull 20-something tail if I wanted, as could most alphas my age. You _would be_ competing with younger women. For alphas, older women are for pumping and dumping (P&D), barring ethical and moral commitments. I hear that older women can get starving artists to shack up with them. Of course, the artists won’t be exclusive.

      I’m an outlier, though, being a natural alpha (which type women find attractive). You might be able to attract some unattractive betas and get them to commit if you’re over 40. Or you might find a natural alpha with ethical and moral commitments who won’t P&D and will commit to you. A pink unicorn. Bad bet, though.

  15. very impressive to see such a blog post written by a woman(no disrespect intended). i hope to snag one of your red pill proteges someday myself. i’m a 23 male and my life is just starting to get its momentum rolling, and the vast majority of women i’ve seen have already let themselves go. even in their early 20s, obesity and alchohol binges are rampant among them. as for the rest i’m not as blinded by hot young tail as many guys are and know that unless she lives responsibly with principles and self discipline that she will make a piss poor partner for the long term. i don’t even wanna touch reckless women like that as i’m scared of catching something from them heh.

    anyway good luck with spreading the message around miss, help good women find and keep good men.

  16. There are very few women who can age with dignity, the ones I have met are the grand dames in their 80’s with intellect and kindness. These two things are non existent in today’s women. I know a lady who holds a British Honour and Title, and her feminine grace is unmatched anywhere in the world. Oh if the women of today would aspire to her standard, the world would be a better place.

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